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The Cardinal Wiseman Catholic School

The Cardinal Wiseman Catholic School

5th December

 There are 20 days until Christmas.


The Wrong Words

by Brian Moses

We like to sing the wrong words
to Christmas Carols . . .
We three kings of Orient are,
One in a taxi, one in a car . . .
It drives our music teacher barmy,
his face turns red as a holly berry,
his forehead creases,
his eyes bulge.
It looks as if the top of his head
is about to lift like a saucepan lid
as he boils over . . .
His anger spills out
in an almighty shout . . .
'NO,' he roars . . .
'If you do that once more
I'll give you the kind of Christmas gift
you won't forget in a hurry . . . '
So we sing . . .
. . . most highly flavoured lady . . .
'IT'S FAVOURED,' he screams,
What do you think she is,
an ice cream cone?'
Then to cap it all,
and drive him really wild
we sing of the shepherds
washing their socks,
till he slams down the piano lid
and takes off like a rocket
into the stratosphere,
lighting up the sky
like a Christmas star.